I really do miss the old me, that Tracy from the 1980s. Sadly, I will never get to be her again. This 2016 version, I have to give her credit because she is trying very hard. She is making the effort.

Sometimes I just need to write a poem about me & for me:

You always believe in me, a poem by Tracy Diane Miller

You hear me
When I cry over times from the past
You know that if I had the choice
The 1980s would have last

You hear me
When I mourn
The woman I used to be
Now I live mostly as a cynic
Disheartened by so much that I see

I think that I recall the precise moment
When loving myself became a chore
Each day is still a struggle
To find those parts of me I can adore

You believe in me
When believing in myself
I often refuse to do
You fill my soul with poetry
The words I give to others
A comfort to see them through

Yet in my dreams I can still see her
I can see me
That 1980s girl with the hopeful smile
Those cherished memories from yesteryear
My subconscious protects for quite awhile

Before depression came to be
That 1980s me always lived on hope
But to speak so truthfully
Depression was foreign to her
So she didn’t really need to cope

This 2016 version of me
To live inside her skin
She will acknowledge all moments of gratitude
For that is the only way for her to win

You believe in me
For it is you who have helped me thrive
I thank you God everyday for you always believe in me
Even when I was doubtful that I would survive